Hi dear friend! These last day I was thinking about the past; if I would change it if I could. The short answer is only one thing, I would keep save the book that I wrote when I was between twelve and fourteen years old and all my journals. My feeling for you is vivid and strong, as if it was defined like constant of nature, however I forgot almost all of our adventures when we were kids. All of ours conversations, games, and experiences were documented in detail in those journals. But when I thought that you had forgotten me, I gave up on you and decided to hear a bad advice and throw away a lot of objects strongly related to my past. Then, I would like to have a Time Machine only to put those thing in a safe place and be able to have them with me today.
You know why I would only change to keep save my book and journals if I had Time Machine, even if I could make choices to be with you? Because I love how much I learned with my choices. For sure I could change my very bad choices that caused me pain as consequence, I could also manage to don't have that so traumatic and full of suffering childhood and teenage; however, I would lose all the XP I won in my entire fight.
I can imagine two main scenarios for me coming back on time. In the first one I would send a message to the young me with some specific instructions, such as wait for you and don't lose you, and take some other actions. However, in this case I could ruin everything and I am not sure if I would have patience and wisdom to follow all my advices. If don't, I would lose you forever in a quite terrible way. I could never heal my emotions without the knowledge I got during my very hard challenges, and one thing I learnt is that emotionally sick people can hurt and destroy the most truly love. In the second scenario, if I could come back keeping all my experiences but you and all the important people of my life don't, I couldn't recognize all of you anymore and nothing guarantees that this would result in a good outcome. Can you imagine encountering everyone you love but not recognizing them? I believe we can keep our essence, but we change a lot physically and emotionally while living our life.
As you know I am not good at identifying and describing feelings, but what I fell for you is so weird and unique that I don't even confuse with another feeling. Usually I don't know to differentiate if I am hungry or sad, if I am in love or happy. But I know exactly that what I feel for you I don't feel for anybody else. Sometimes I try to understand what a heck is that and start making some conjectures. One of them has to do with time and our existence.
What the heck is time?
Time is a concept very hard to understand deeply since it lies in abstract ideas created by the human mind. What I mean is that it is different from a physical object or even an electromagnetic wave (light for example) that we can measure or sense directly; the time concept was constructed uniquely based in our perception of the world. There is a very nice article written by Albert Einstein where he treat the time concept from a philosophical point of view, maybe we can talk about it some day.
Time and the universe(s)
Time can be not what we think. The general relativity shows that time is not linear, it is linked to gravitation and velocity. There are some theories that propose that past, present and future already happened. I don't like this idea since it reminds me the idea of determinism. I don't like the idea of not having choices. Instead of this, I prefer to believe that time is one of the parameters of the entire cosmos, together with space and universe.
But how can be time and universes be linked? Well one of interpretations for the measurement problem of quantum mechanics is the many world theory. A quantum system can be in more than one state at the same time, that is, a particle can be in more than one position at the same time. But, when we make a measurement to see exactly where it is, it collapse in one of the possible positions; this is known as the measurement problem. The many world theory propose that every time the state of a system collapse after a measurement and we find one result, the universe splits into new universes, one for each possibility. The result of measurement that we observe is the one related to our universe. Each branched universe is an identical copy of the original one except for the measurement result. At each time instant, new measurements are made and new universes arise. Beyond that, different particles can have their physical states entangled, this means that the result of a measurement of a system can affect the result of the measurement of another one.
Some physicists argue that this process yields an infinite quantity of universes, requiring an infinite quantity of energy. Beyond that, the third law of thermodynamics would be violated (not that this is a unsolvable problem, since its just a law, it is not proven since we cannot measure the energy of the entire present universe).
But what if time, space, and the universe give a point is in the phase space of our consciousness in the cosmos? This means that each choice, at each moment, and at each space position is a point in the phase space and each point can take our conscientiousness to a certain universe. All points are actually possible, but our consciousness can only experience one at a time. I am not saying that this would solve the energy and entropy problems, but I think it is at least more elegant.
If this would be true, maybe our connection is not originally from this universe and what I feel is some echo from another universe. In this scenario, our consciousness is capable of living all possible realities but we can only fully experience one at a time. Although we don't have access to all universes information, some entangled states between the universes makes us feel such odd feelings and connections, as the ones I have with you.
Then, maybe I don't need to back on time to be with you because it is already happening.
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